Knowing How to Live with Genital Herpes Helps Put You In Charge

Emotional effects of genital herpes

By its very nature, genital herpes is an emotional problem as much as it is a physical one. For most people, a genital herpes diagnosis brings with it a strong emotional response. You may have felt anger, embarrassment, worry, guilt. You may even now be feeling depressed or fear rejection. Many others have felt the same.

In a survey of almost 3,000 people with genital herpes, the vast majority experienced depression when first diagnosed, followed by fears of rejection and discovery and feelings of isolation. These feelings lessened with time as those individuals learned to live with genital herpes.¹

Dealing with the emotional aftermath of a genital herpes diagnosis usually comes in stages:¹

Denial – “It’s not true.” “This can’t be happening to me.” It is difficult to accept a genital herpes diagnosis when first told.

Resistance – “There must be a way to get rid of it.” At this stage, you are likely to feel anger toward the person you believe infected you.

Affirmation – “I’ll never have a normal sex life again.” After feelings of loss and grief, you will become more open to making lifestyle changes.

Integration – “I can live with genital herpes and I’m going to get my life back.” During this final stage, you will have accepted that you have genital herpes and integrated changes into your lifestyle.

The power to control your emotions comes from within.
Ask yourself honestly whether or not you have accepted the fact that you have genital herpes. If you’re still upset or if you don’t feel good about yourself or your life, ask for help. Your best emotional support comes from those who are closest to you – your family and friends whom you trust and depend on. Your best source for accurate information is your doctor who can help you learn how to live well with genital herpes. You also have a support network of counsellors who have the knowledge and experience to help and others who know exactly how you feel because they have genital herpes too. No matter whom you turn to, the important thing is that you do ask for help if you need it.

References

1. Clarke P. The Impact of a Herpes Diagnosis and the Implications for Patient Counseling. Clinical Management of Herpes Viruses,1995: 75-85. IOS Print, Washington, DC. 2. Whitley RJ, Kimberlin DW and Roizman B. Herpes Simplex Viruses. Clin Infect Dis 1998;26(3):541-553. 3. Sacks S. The Truth About Herpes. 4th Ed., 1997. Gordon Soules Book Publishing Ltd. 4. Kemeny ME, Cohen F, Zegans LS et al. Psychological and Immunological Predictors of Genital Herpes Recurrence. Psych Med 1989;51:195-208. 5. Aoki FY. Canadian Guidelines on Sexually Transmitted Infections 2006 Edition; Genital Herpes Simplex Virus (HSV) Infections. Public Health Agency of Canada http://phac-aspc.gc.ca/std-mts/sti_2006/pdf/sti2006_e.pdf. Accessed May 15, 2006. 6. Cuisini M and Ghislanzoni M.The importance of diagnosing genital herpes. J Antimicrob Chemo 2001;47(Topic T1):9-16.